My Story

Three life changing choices

“There have been three major, pivotal choices that have shaped my life into what it is today. When I started painting, when I learnt Transcendental Meditation and when I was coached for the first time. The difference these three interventions have made to my life is beyond measure.

How it all began 

I grew up in the suburbs of the Midlands, the lone artist in the family and from an early age I felt distrustful of a lot of the expectation put on me. So, I did what a lot of sensitive people do, I rebelled. Before I knew what was what, I was hurtling along in a familiar pattern of dysfunction, not knowing who I was and what I wanted from life. 

The years flew by, for the best part of a decade I sang in a punk/trip hop band which kept my creativity and collaboration alive (along with plenty of booze fueled  late nights). Juggling the struggles of working jobs that didn't align with my values, trying to survive difficult relationships  and the constant pressure of feeling afraid and overwhelmed, it wasn’t a great surprise to find myself having a breakdown in my early 30’s.

I choose to see, I choose to feel

The next time, the pressure got too much, instead of collapsing, I made a different choice. I chose to paint. I painted out, in my own abstract way, what I was struggling with. I asked for help and it came through in the layers of the painting image and in the form of inner knowing. (blog) I had activated my innerworld and it was ready to show me the way forward.

Mr Lynch, catching the big fish 

This was enough to propel me out of Brighton to begin a new life in London and then all the pressure of living in a fast, expensive city really hit home. This is when I learnt  Transcendental Meditation. I’d heard about TM via film director David Lynch and his book ‘catching the big fish’. It's a succinct book, weaving his creative process with extracts of Vedic knowledge, it resonated, I recognised the truth.

I made the leap to learn TM and I’m thankful everyday. The results were fast and profound, giving me a second chance at life. My energy returned and I started to think more clearly, it occurred to me that ‘wow I'm back, back in the game’ and this is when life started to get fun. It was still tough but I was starting to enjoy the steep curves. 

Creative life

Every area of my life started to improve and my confidence grew. My creativity became more bold, I started applying for things, I started doing presentations and speaking in public, things I'd found so difficult before. Not only that, but exhibiting my paintings, blogging and performance art, for the first time in a long time I was awake and growing fast.

Beyond habitual thought. The coaching dream 

It was around this time I was accepted on an artist mentor programme and this was the first time I encountered coaching. I still remember that first session, I came out of those  60minutes thinking and feeling completely differently to how I went in.

I’d accessed perspectives and solutions that I didn’t know were available and it felt incredible to know that everything I needed was within me.

I was hooked. I had to train as a coach. Then to my great surprise, I was accepted on a scholarship to train as a coach. Five years on since I graduated and the original in depth coaching is still the foundation of my approach. 

Where I am now

I know whatever happens…from a point of conscious awareness…no matter what the challenge… It is all workable. I’ve experienced that there is a gift in every obstacle and that creativity is the flow that both reveals and transforms. If you had asked me what I wanted for my life five years ago. I wouldn’t have been able to tell you what was really important to me and I wasn’t consciously aware of what my heart wanted. I had to find a way for the conscious mind and the unconscious/inner world to be in relationship. Meditation, painting and coaching is the bridge that has brought balance. What I’ve learnt is that we can’t push or will life to be something that we are not. We need the opportunity to grow into our natural fullness and the rest takes care of itself. Meditation, painting and coaching is a path of expansion and self knowledge.

If we don’t create our life, someone else will create it for us.